2020 is here WOOP WOOP. Now I’m not saying that my 2019 was crap – I just feel very ready for a fresh new year to really focus on myself. When I look back on 2019, I can’t believe how much has changed with my life and how much change I’ve actually put myself through. At the beginning of the 2019 year, I was still living at home with my family and I remember having A LOT of tearful conversations with my dad about what I should do next in my life. I then finally decided that I wanted to move to London. Luckily I found a job pretty quick and I had a friend who had a spare room so everything just fell into place. It was great. It was exactly what I wanted. I was working at Topshop Marble Arch and I was living in Canary Wharf – my younger self would be screaming with excitement. Three months past and I realised I wasn’t actually as happy as I thought I was so I signed a contract for a flat to live with Eli and moved to Brighton.
When I moved to Brighton I was unemployed for about two and half months and was struggling to find a job. I finally saw a position at Topshop and luckily I got it! I started working there mid July which was so nerve wrecking but also so great at the same time. I was only working 24 hours a week which meant I had 4 days off in the week to focus on my Instagram etc. Months went on, and my Instagram started growing more and beginning of December I made the decision to quit Topshop and do Instagram full time. So when I look back on my 2019, I’ve actually gone through some big changes and should be very happy with how far I’ve come! So here we are, the first month of 2020 and I’m feeling more motivated than ever. I’ve set myself quite a few goals to try and focus on this year which actually really excites me haha.
Look after my body. Not only is my diet appalling, I do not eat enough. So my first step is to eat 3 proper meals a day. A good breakfast to give me lots of energy, a yummy lunch and a solid dinner. I’ve never really spoken about this but when I was in my teenage years I used to starve myself a lot because I had this obsession with being tiny and having very little fat on me so I guess whilst growing up my body was not used to eating three meals a day (purely because I wouldn’t allow it). Then here I am at nearly 22 years old and stuck in this habit of snacking on junk food throughout the day to try and keep me going, which it doesn’t by the way – I lack SO much energy and constantly feel tired. I regret putting my body through all of that torture so that is why I really want to start being serious with my body and health and looking after it. Once I get in the routine of eating a bit better I would love to start introducing some exercising like three times a week. And no, I’m not working out to lose weight, but purely to get my heart pumping and my body moving! Working at home is wonderful but most of the time I am sat on my bum looking at my laptop so I need to get out some days. Whether that’s cycling along the beach, going for a run or even just a walk. And then to finish it all off, I want to do a mini yoga session once a week. I’ve got a lot going on in my head right now and I feel like I need some down time away from everything to relax.
Make more effort with seeing friends. I am very lucky to say that I have such amazing friends but unfortunately, they are all kind of scattered around the UK haha. Obviously we always keep in contact with each other but I didn’t make that extra effort to go and visit them and by the end of 2019 I felt so annoyed with myself that I didn’t. So this year I’m going to make extra time to go and see them and make some fun memories together. How cheesy did that sound lol.
Focus on my content even more. So now as I am full time doing Instagram, it means I have more time on my hands so I have no excuse to slack on all my platforms. Starting with this blog. My god I feel like it’s always been so on and off with me posting on here, BUT 2020 is the year of change and progress so my goal is to publish 3 blog posts a month. I need to give Life and Threads a little love because it’s been neglected over the past years.
Next thing is Youtube. I’ve kind of dipped my toes into the Youtube world but to be completely honest, I’m still a little scared. I’m going to ease myself into it again slowly to get into the routine but this year I need to make a conscious effort on creating more videos.
Start seeing the positive. I am a girl who sees the glass half empty. I am extremely negative and it’s getting to the point where it is really unhealthy for my mental health and it needs to stop. If 99 people said the most wonderful things about me but 1 person said something negative, unfortunately I would focus on that one bad thing. This needs to change. I think it comes down to a lot of things that tends to play together and creates this huge, I dunno lets call it the Black Blob. So this black blob is this dark cloud in my mind which is created from anxiety, overthinking, negativity and insecurities, and recently it’s been getting bigger and starting to, I guess that over my head space. With the black blob (sounds so stupid I know) getting bigger, my behaviour and the way I started to see things began to change, and not in a good way. It has stopped me from doing a lot of things and feeling very down. SO, this year I don’t want to feel like this anymore. You know if someone says something mean about me then just shake it off and forget about it. Which I know sounds easier said than done, but I’ve gotta try!
The above goals mean a lot to me so they are my main priorities to focus on but I do also have some mini ones which I will list below.
– Go to bed earlier and wake up earlier!!!
– Write in my diary every night of what I did that day.
– Save more money lol.
– Become more organised and learn to prioritise my tasks for work.
– Drink 2L of water everyday.
– And smile more! So cheesy I know but I can’t help it.