I remember back in 2012 when I first joined Instagram. I was like what the f is this. I had no idea how to use it or even what to use it for. My first ever picture was of me holding a rabbit and then a college of Disneyworld roller coasters I went on. Those were the days when everyone posted what they wanted. People used to post random ass crap using the filters ‘toaster’ or ‘X-Pro II’ and that was that. 2013 was then the year of the floral bed sheets. Who else remembers that?! I even joined in on that craze I must admit. I remember posting a picture of hand cream with the bed sheet in the background and it got about 100 likes. You could post a picture of anything, as long as it had the floral duvet then that picture was a winner and guaranteed you likes.
Instagram has progressed a lot since those days and the way you post has changed. The app isn’t just for fun anymore (well it is for some people). And fun sadly isn’t the reason why most people post on it. It has taken to a whole new level that it is becoming, or should I correct myself and say that it has started to now to become a career for some. I don’t think anyone who joined Instagram back in the early days thought it would take off this much and could give you such an opportunity to potentially earn good money.
My dad still doesn’t understand social media and how you can have it as a job. He can’t get his head round the fact I get sent items and all I have to do is take a picture of it. I guess he never grew up with this kind of technology so in his defence it is another world to him.
With what Instagram is right now, and still progressing may I add, sometimes the pressure hits sky high. With so many bloggers and influencers, the standards of photos and fashion is set to a new a bar. I am extremely lucky to have 11K followers. Yes it may not be in the hundred thousands but it has given me some great opportunities and makes me feel somewhat wanted? Stuck up or weird of me to say that but it is the biggest compliment. Having people follow you because they like the way you dress or the way you look or the style of pictures you post is a huge confidence booster. I am forever grateful of the wonderful people that follow me and show me so much love. I used to go on Instagram and post random pictures of my life and what I had been up to that day, but now it has become a very important hobby that I take very seriously. I’ll be truthful, now that I see how far and successful you can get, hell yeah I want to be like that. So now 90% of the time when I take a picture, I’m stressing out that it has to be perfect and fit the criteria. Sometimes I let it slip and I post a random one of my dog but you can lose yourself sometimes and forget to be true to who you are.
I am an over thinker, I worry about A LOT of things and I can be very negative. All of those three things plus Instagram is a recipe for disaster. Every picture I worry is this going to fit in with my grid? Do I look skinny enough in this? Does my face look okay? Does my pose look silly? Does my outfit even look cool enough to post? Sometimes I feel like banging my head against a wall with how harsh I am about myself. Knowing that I have followers probably because they like my style is amazing and I’m so appreciative of that, but it also adds a high amount of pressure that I constantly need to look good. And some days I really don’t. Some days I will literally chuck on a jumper and jeans because of comfort and I almost feel like I am letting myself down because I feel like my outfit isn’t picture worthy. I feel disappointed in myself that I don’t look ‘fashionable’. And I shouldn’t feel like that. In some sense, I could say that it is almost consuming my life and changing the way I think but in a very negative way. But then again, it is all in my head and I’m letting it make me think like this. It’s like a mind battle with yourself.
I absolutely love Instagram and I love fashion, but constantly having to make sure that I look good just for the gram or having to try and find a good place/background for a picture is tiring. And don’t even get me started on the days when you love your outfit but lighting or weather just isn’t on your side. Such an ANNOYANCE. I do get stressed out about it all and Eli will literally look at me and say ‘Chlo, it is just a picture’. And he is right, it is just a picture but I have it in my head that is it such a high importance and priority that I let it eat me up with worry and stress. Especially when you are doing a collaboration with brands, you want the picture to be good so that you get a good response and the company is happy.
Despite all the negativity, there is some plus sides that benefit me. With this pressure (that I create in my head), I am always trying to experiment with new looks and create new exciting images and that can be incredibly rewarding. Honestly, nothing beats the feeling of happiness after posting a picture and actually feeling proud of how it turned out.
There are a ton of beautiful people out there and sometimes it can be tough not to compare yourself to others. There will always be someone out there who has it slightly better than you. Whether it’s she’s got better hair, a bigger bum or longer legs, 9 times out of 10 after scrolling through Instagram you are more than likely going to go away feeling crap about yourself. Which is extremely sad, and I am massively guilty of doing this, but we all have built this huge amount of pressure and it makes us find things that we dislike about ourselves. Only recently I decided to unfollow majority of insta accounts which are beach babes in bikinis because it was bringing me down so much. I am not blessed in the chest area nor the derriere, so constantly seeing girls with the body I wish I had was making me hate myself more and more everyday. It’s natural to compare yourself, but if you can prevent it, then do.